Sunday, March 6, 2011

A month, seriously?

Man, you get rocking and rolling, blogging away and then you get distracted! I guess that's what happens when you meet a boy. Luckily along with this fantastic distraction has come inspiration, the beautiful advantage of partnering up with someone that encourages and speaks into your passions. It's been a month of bliss, and I return with more excitement and drive for what it is I love. Bringing with me some Canton dust!

That's right folks, I HAVE OFFICIALLY WALKED THE HILLS OF CANTON!!! How I have gone 28 years without tapping into this gold mine, experiencing the cluttered mess of gems, and overgrown beards of hippie hoarders is beyond me! Yesterday I joined Austin, the new BF, and his family for my first experience there. I was shocked as I drove home realizing that I really wasn't coming back with many items to add to my collection, but I was bringing home a big smile. Instead of buying buying buying, I found myself spending the majority of the day observing and trying to take in the vastness of such a treasure heaven. I loved digging along side Austin, not only because he's beautiful but he's also the ultimate digging partner! We sifted through buckets of old pins, mason jars filled with broken jewelry, and boxes upon boxes of rusted hardware. (He gently had to pull my hand one or two or three times to get me away from the hardware tables, I'm still not quite sure why I get so addicted to them.)

Instead of bringing home more objects to fill my room, I came home with a filled heart. There are several ideas brewing in my head right now. Creations ready to be birthed and brought to you soon. Stay tuned as I work on a few and hopefully will get back to posting asap! And For your information, ASAP means, when you are inspired, have time, and can get them all uploaded onto a computer. Hang tight!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Living a Better Story

The reason this blog is being submitted at the very last minute is ... the concept of this seminar scares me. The idea of sending this in brings to life the reality that if I did win a trip to the conference, I'd be held accountable for following through with my dream ... or my "story." I can't think of anything more terrifying.

Well here goes nothing:

I like Junk!

My heart beats faster just at the sight of a worn and stained chair sitting in someones garbage. I love the idea of bringing life back to an object that's been discarded or forgotten about. What others may see as a garage sale reject, I see as beauty.

My home is a collaboration of random items that, I believe, have a story of their own. Once lost .. now found. Some of these items only call for a splash of new paint, some call for new fabrics, some maintain their original condition, while others may require a full overhaul. All are considered precious to me. For instance: my headboard is made of an old fireplace mantel I found in a junkyard, my favorite necklace is one I made out of a spoon, and the place mats in my kitchen are vintage scrabble boards. I love them.

I've been collecting and redesigning "junk" since I was a kid. The mixture of growing up without a lot of money and having an extremely creative mother meant that thrift store shopping typically served as substitutes for mall visits (this made for some very 'interesting' outfits as a child). Early on, I developed a love for all things vintage and a knack for the excitement that goes behind the "find" of an object. Throughout the years, my lovely obsession was something I kept contained to the four walls of my house (or so I thought). I've always been nervous to show others what I've done, because I figured people would think I was weird. I suppose the reveal of artwork is way harder then the creative process behind it.

I'm pretty sure I drive my roommates nuts on a regular basis. They never know what I will be walking through the door with next. A few weeks ago it was a 1950's refrigerator that I found on craigslist for $20 and of course I needed their help carrying it inside. However, I must say the interior of the fridge does make for a lovely bookshelf!

By the grace of God, I've been surrounded by people who have seen my potential and have encouraged me to do what I love. A year ago, I gave up a high paying job at a well-established company to pursue my love of "the find" and freelance my design work. Now I'm doing a good portion of what I love but when you're scraping by to pay bills and eat it leaves you to question if it's the right decision. But now I find a woman more at peace with herself and connected to who God created her to be. I know I have a gift. It may seem like an odd gift ... but he's given it to me and it's uniquely mine.

The dream would be to own a store with my mom and a few close creative friends. I'd call it "Lost and Found." In my head, the shop is filled with all my favorite styles of junk, funky jewelry that my mom has made, and all types of goodies. I even know the scent of the candle I'd want to have burning throughout the store. Even imagining the tissue paper right now! ... I even have my price tags dreamt up.

The prep step to the full blown store would be renting a small space in a local shop. You pay a nominal fee, take advantage of all your 35 sq feet of space, and try to make a few bucks. I've thought about it several times but never pulled the trigger.

So what holds me back?


I'm nervous. I'm nervous because I don't know the first thing about running a business. I'm nervous because the idea of committing to something seems like a freedom killer to me (even if it's my dream). I'm nervous that if I make a living out of something I'm passionate about, I'll wake up one day and resent it. I'm nervous that I'd be successful. Because success, again, means commitment.

If I get the chance to make it to Portland for the "Living a Better Story" seminar, I'm hoping it will help ease my fears and anxieties or that it would actually give tangible advice on how to overcome them. It would probably be refreshing to sit in a room full of people who understand where I'm coming from, who have a passion, but are too gun-shy to pursue it out of fear of failure (or success).
So here I go, I'm pressing ''publish post'' after some editing attempts and seeing what happens.

(All the pictures posted are of objects from my personal collection)

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Jesus - The Magic Pill

I think the church has sadly misinformed society by marketing Jesus as a magic pill that, if swallowed, will make you complete. Although I do believe there are transforming powers that take place, I don't believe that the 'wholeness' happens this side of heaven.

Sidnote, before I begin... I'm just journaling here and I'm fully aware that there are many people whose lives represent a very good picture of what Christ was aiming for in us. This is more a venting/discovery process for me to write. Continuing on....

Embracing that the completeness is a falsehood in (this lifetime) would take alot of the pressure off believers. Somewhere down the line Christ followers developed the message that it was thier job to sell Jesus. (I beg to argue that Jesus is very capable of selling himself.) In order to push this agenda many people adopted to finding the greatest marketing tool they could think of: themselves. Making ourselves images of the perfect restored person who dances during the rainstorms and sends God facebook status thank you notes. These days, I think the advertisement has also evolved into being 'real'. I'm normal. I'm a sinner. I'm relatable. I'm relevant. 'Hey, look, I'm just like you. Admit it and swallow the pill with me." Regardless the bottle that the message is packaged in, I think the message stays the same. We make Jesus out to be the answer that solves the question Now. And after living a life with him for over 20 years I just can't help but ask, is he really answering this question now? Am I really complete? ...because if this is complete, then there's a whole other side of problems with this world.

Yes, I believe he is the answer and that my life is undoubtably sweetier than before. But I'm finding that it's OK to admit that the 'completeness' won't be meeting me here during this lifetime. There is a sanctification process that takes place on earth, I think Lauren Winters terms it perfectly when she describes this earthly life as a continuous process of 'becoming a christian'. We can embrace that one day when we meet our creator face to face we will be restored, we will be complete, he will be enough. In the meantime, I don't want to be considered sacrilegious by saying,

actually He's not enough.

Yes, he's in control. Yes I believe he's guiding me through life and catching me when I stumble down the hill of morality. However, he's just not enough for me yet.

I still have crappy days, I still have anxiety attacks, I still freak out when I like a boy, and I panic at the idea of making life decisions.

He's good, He's very good. He's saved me for the life of eternity after my human existence ceases. I just don't want to be a rose garden of empty promises to people. If we were more honest about what to expect maybe it would be a more attractive less threatening thing to investigate. And maybe Christians wouldn't need as many deep tissue massages.

I trust his message, I just don't trust ours.